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My, the Moon is Bright Tonight

One person in this house has been awake since 2:00am.  Another person has been awake since 2:30am.  And yet another person has been awake since 3:30am.  Ok, the last one is Larry and he doesn't really count because he always gets up that early.  I don't know how he does it.  Much respect to him!

I'm the one who has been awake since 2:00.  I woke up because I had to pee.  Nothing new there.  It's happened almost every night of my life.  When I was younger I remember waking up to go to the bathroom but being afraid to get out of bed because I was sure there was a witch under the bed who would grab my ankles.  Sidenote:  I'm no longer afraid of that.

Anyway, I couldn't fall back asleep and there is nothing I loathe more than lying in bed awake.  So I got up.

I read a few more chapters of this book:

I drank too much some coffee.

I ate ham and dill quiche with a side of roasted asparagus.

I tried something new with my hair.

Ok, I am well aware that it's just two braids and you can barely even see the one in this photo.  But this is a Big Deal for me.  I can put together a fun outfit and awesome jewelery but I am terrible at really girly things like hair, nails, and makeup.  I lay the blame solely at the feet of my mother.  It's her fault that I didn't learn those things.  (She'll say you have to have an interested student to teach.  Whatevs.)  That's why you'll see me with my toenails painted (but probably smudged) and maybe mascara.  Eye shadow too if I'm feeling particularly girly.  And if my hair looks good?  Happy accident.

I watched Netflix.  I won't tell you what or how many episodes.

I read my Bible and journaled.  Nehemiah 2:1b-2.  It gave me some ideas for my two speaking engagements next week.

I HAVE TWO SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS NEXT WEEK!!  WHO IN THE WORLD AM I??

I went upstairs to make my bed and get dressed for the day.  And I heard a little voice say "Mom?".  It was Kye, the child who never sleeps.  He told me he'd been awake since 2:30.  It was now 5:00.  I asked him what he had been doing.  Turns out he had read for a little while and then just looked out the window.  "Mom, it's full moon.  The front yard was so bright.  It's really beautiful."

Firstly, I'm thrilled that I'm raising a son who notices beauty.  I hope he always talks about things he finds beautiful.  Secondly, I had noticed the moon too.  I've long been drawn by the beauty of the night sky.  "The heavens declare the glory of God..." and all that jazz. And I've long suspected that the moon and it's cycles affect my moods and behaviors.  I've never bothered documenting anything but I bet there's an app for that.

With Kye and I both being awake super early, I had a new suspicion about the moon.  And so I googled "Does the full moon effect sleep patterns" and I read some really interesting articles.  Turns out the findings are inconclusive.  But it seems possible that the moon can affect sleep patterns.  People who participated in the sleep studies had greater difficulty falling asleep and remaining asleep during full moon.  Women seemed to be effected more than men.  On average, people slept 20 minutes less during full moon.  

20 minutes less.

Not 4 hours less.

Hmmm.

Now I'm sitting in full daylight, having seen the beauty of the full moon and the breath-taking sunrise.  Maybe the full moon had something to do with my lack of sleep.  Or maybe Jesus wanted me to see two different kinds of beauty.  Or maybe He was making sure I had time to spend with him.

I told him last night how I miss him.  It's not his fault, it's mine.  I was on vacation and then I got sick.  I used them both as an excuse to not get up early.  As a result of not getting up early I've had no time alone.  And as a result of having no time alone I've spent little to no time in the Word.  

Tomorrow is Good Friday.

The day my Jesus, whom I claim to love, faced horrific pain, humiliation, and mockery.  

The day my Jesus bled out and died.  

In my place.

I am deeply ashamed of how little thought I've given to Easter.  I've got excuses but they are just that.  Excuses.

My heart has been unmoved.  But I want to be undone.  To feel in all the deep places.  To stand in utter and complete awe of what Jesus did because of love.

Today I'm asking for Jesus to remove my heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh.

Today I want to "stand with arms high and heart abandoned.  In awe of the One who gave it all."

Will you join me?