It's been a week since The Mistake.  A week where every day, several times a day, I looked at the puppies half expecting more to have died.  When they are sleeping, I'm terrified.  Laying on their sides, not moving. 

And then a little twitch here, a tail wag there, an adorable yawn and I can breathe again.

Life is so fragile.

I'm sure many of you were saddened this week to learn of Robin Williams suicide.  I was too.

I'm not even sure how to address the issue of suicide.  I read several blog posts yesterday, Ann Voskamp's being my favorite.  This woman, what a beautiful heart.  If you've never read "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann I would encourage you to cancel your life and read it straight thru.

These lines from Ann's post yesterday, they tug at my soul:  

"There are some who take communion and anti-depressants and there are those  who think both are a crutch.

Come in close — I’d rather walk tall with a crutch than crawl around insisting like a proud and bloody fool that I didn’t need one."

Jesus didn't call us to be strong and invincible.  He didn't say that he'd help us if we first help ourselves.

In John 10, Jesus says this "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." He goes on to say he is the Good Shepherd and he calls his followers his sheep.


If Jesus thought we should be strong and independent and not show our weaknesses than he would have never called us sheep.


Now, I don't know a ton about sheep, I've not been around them much. But I do know this: They are not strong critters. You don't see photos of sheep being laden with saddles or being packed like a mule. I did find this video of a girl riding a sheep but, dude, that sheep is struggling. It wasn't made to carry that burden. Neither were you.


Sheep are also not independent.

They were made for community. So was I. Being an introvert this is sometimes difficult for me. That last photo of the sheep? Cringe. So many. So close. So much touching.


But a sheep cut off from it's flock? It'll probably die if nobody comes to rescue it. In Matthew 18 Jesus tells the parable about the lost sheep. The shepherd leaves the 99 and goes after the one that is lost. We are to be Jesus' hands and feet. Is there someone he's prompting you to go after?  You don't need to have answers, sometimes all you have to do is listen to someone who is hurting. And maybe cry with them.


Have you ever seen something more vulnerable and weak looking than a sheep that's just been sheared?

Don't show your weakness. Don't be vulnerable. Don't be a hot mess. That's what we tell ourselves, isn't it? Or even worse, it's what someone else tells us. So we slap on a happy face while our insides are shriveling up.


Now hear me on this: I don't believe you need to be vulnerable with everybody. The grocery store clerk? Probably not. Your waitress? She doesn't really have time. That random guy standing on the street corner? Uh, no.


But your friend who invites you over for breakfast?   Yes. Your pastor who sincerely cares about the welfare of your soul? Absolutely.   Your family who loves you deeply? Go right ahead.


Being vulnerable always carries the potential to be hurt and that is scary. But stuffing it and having your heart turn to stone is way worse. I watched this this morning and I couldn't say it better myself.


So, while hearts and lives are fragile, they were meant to be shared. Maybe you are in a season of brokenness, where you are the sharer. That is so difficult. But, please, find a safe someone to talk to.


Maybe you are in a season where you are privileged to hear someone's heart. See that for the blessing it is. What a gift to be trusted like that.


And no matter where today finds you, know this: you are deeply loved.


"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither hight nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."