Wonder-Full

Friday was mostly a wonder-full day.  I'd like to lead you to believe that the whole day was sunshine and roses but that simply is not true.  There was this part at the end where six tired/hungry people went to Costco and things got ugly.  I Someone ended up screaming like a banshee in the parking lot at two other someones who were practically on the ground wrestling over a glass water bottle for-the-love.

But back to the wonder-full part.

I had the privilege of going on a field trip with Kye.  I've mentioned before how I love field trips and this one was no different.  I find immense pleasure in spending one on one time with my kids.  Plus, it was a gorgeous day.

Kye and I spent the day with his class doing a walking tour of Lancaster city.  But I want to back up a minute to the first wonder-full part of the day.

My lovely mom was babysitting Jake so I could go on the field trip.  As I drove him over to her house the morning was heart-burstingly beautiful.  At my house it was foggy and dark.  But as I drove toward my parent's house the sun started to break thru.  The most glorious part was the home-stretch of the drive.  Straight down New Holland Rd toward Himes Hill that was blazing with fall colors.  Foggy fields to my right and left with the sunshine turning everything magical.  I so wish I had a photo but the imprint on my heart will have to do.

So, I leave Jake with my mom, go to school, and board THE BUS. Which, by far, is the worst part of any field trip.  But even this bus ride wasn't all terrible.  As we got into the city I was enthralled by the beautiful architecture and, again, the colors.  Trees don't care if they are city dwellers or if their roots are firmly planted in the country.  They all reflect the beauty of their Maker.

We stepped off the bus and for 5 wonder-full seconds Kye held my hand before he remembered that his friends could see.  My smile was sad when he let go.  My little boy is not so little anymore. 

First stop, bathroom.  Praise Jesus.  Why do I drink so much coffee on field trip mornings?  

And then, the walking tour.  I just can't get over how perfect the weather was.  There aren't enough adjectives to describe it.  We stopped at a bunch of places and looked at buildings and learned the history of the people who used to live there.  So interesting.  Unfortunately, I don't retain much information any more after having four babies who suck all my brain cells.  But I love history in the moment when I am hearing it.

We visited three churches.  Each one was different.  Each one was beautiful.  And in each one I wished I was the only one in the quiet sanctuary.  Because I wanted to sing.

We also visited a cemetery.  I was so struck by the words on this gravestone:

Jesus, be thou my vision.

And then...lunch.  Two words:  Central Market.  Kye tried everything I bought proving that miracles do still happen.  I'm pretty sure if I had made any of these things at home (besides the chocolate cake) there would have been massive complaining in the land.

Side note:  the ice cream was from Carmen and David's, not central market.  Kye's was cookies and cream.  Mine was bourbon coffee.  Don't judge me. 

We ate some of our food on some steps outside Central Market.

After we finished eating I noticed this sign in the window above Kye's head:

Oops.

Anyway, while we were eating there were a lot of people passing by making for some good people-watching.  I thought so many kind thoughts about strangers.

"That pregnant woman is SO cute"

"I love that lady's pants"

"That look is really working for her"

And I started thinking, why don't we vocalize our kind thoughts?  Sure, maybe some people would look at me cross eyed if I complimented them.  But there is also the chance that I could make someone's day.

I don't know, maybe it was the bourbon ice cream talking but I spotted an older lady who was rocking an awesome hair cut and I told her so.  Her smile was so precious.

And just today the favor was returned to me.  My family was visiting a different church and a lady approached me.  She said, "You look just like my niece and she is a doll.  You are just so cute!"  Well, *blush, blush*, thank you!

Anyway, we finished the delightful field trip and moved on to our next exciting event of the day:  The Great Pumpkin Chase.

Kye and Cole have been running on the cross country team at Hinkletown this year and the Pumpkin Chase is the last race of the year.  Why is it called the Pumpkin Chase, you ask?

Because that guy.

My mom and sister met us at the Lancaster County Park where the race was held.  Veritas Academy hosted the event and they had games and food before hand.

While we were there I couldn't help but think of how I felt at the race last year.  I posted this photo and blogged these words about it:

"This photo was taken the day that I posted that status about being a professional hermit.  My mind was an angry ocean of crashing waves full of thoughts of everything I needed to do.  My body was tense with being in a big crowd of people, most of whom I did not know.  And here it is, documented, that I was...smiling."

This year I was overwhelmed and so thankful to be in a much better place emotionally.  All glory to Jesus.

I love to watch my boys run.  And even though one of them didn't have his best run ever they still had fun and that is the bottom line.

Wow, this post has gotten really long.  If you are still reading it, props to you!  Thanks for journeying thru my day with me.  I hope you felt the wonder that I did.  And I pray that you will experience a wonder-full day!

  

I did something this morning that I haven't done in years.

I wrote a poem.

I wrote it with the full intention of publishing it on here, and I will...after some other words.

You see, I'm feeling rather vulnerable about posting my poem.  I don't often feel this way.  Generally speaking, I don't often care what people think about me.  I do lots of things that might make me look foolish.  Here's a great example:

Yup, that's a photo of me in my bathrobe.  I posted it on facebook the other day after being egged on by my friends.  If I think something I do or say will make you laugh the chances are really high that I will do or say that thing.  Everyone needs to laugh more.

So, I don't mind looking foolish.  However, it's a completely different thing to me if you think what I say is stupid.  And here's where the vulnerability about my poem comes out.  Maybe the words don't all exactly rhyme.  Maybe you think the way I repeat lines is dumb.  Maybe (and worst of all) you just don't even get what I'm trying to say.

To avoid the last one, here's the general idea behind my poem: This morning I wanted to write.  I was struck by the weird weather and wild wind.  I felt the need to be creative with words.  It felt holy.

But my house was a wreck.  I was in the middle of doing some supper prep.  There is literally a week's worth of laundry waiting to be folded.  Someone dropped yogurt on the floor.  It felt mundane.

Whenever I choose being over doing there is instantly this battle within.  I know in my head that sometimes choosing creativity is healthy for me.  But my heart has yet to accept that.  It screams at me that I am not enough.

Today I told it to shut up.  And I wrote.

I'm not much for a cloudy day

I prefer bright sunshine and blue sky

I'm not much for a windy day

I prefer gentle breezes blowing by

But today my soul is stirred

by the textures, colors, and sound

today my soul is stirred

by the sky, the trees, the ground.

Orange, crimson, gold, and green

dry and rustling corn and leaves

orange, crimson, gold, and green

all these colors taint the breeze

Gray and white swirl above

hustling, hurrying past

gray and white swirl above

and I stop to watch, at last

The beauty draws me in

I pause, breathe, feel

the beauty draws me in

I halt, see, kneel 

But every day life screams at me

laundry, food prep, filth

every day life screams at me

telling me of my worth

If I don't do it, no one will

and so I stand to fold

if I don't do it, no one will

my heart feels dark and cold

Mundane or holy?

which to choose?

mundane or holy?

Satan likes to confuse.

Mundane and holy

the Spirit speaks

mundane and holy

every task of every week

Everything is worship

if my heart is right

everything is worship

if I keep Jesus in sight

Obadiah

That moment in church when the pastor says, "Open your bibles with me to Obadiah" and your brain starts to check out (Wanda, if you are reading this, don't tell Bruce!  It gets better, I promise!).

Not a Sunday goes by where my thoughts don't drift during the sermon.  Sometimes it's a struggle for me to keep my head in the game at church.  Sometimes I can't get past the opening sentence of the sermon.  Sometimes I can't find the book of the Bible the pastor is talking about.  Sometimes I get stuck on something the pastor says that isn't the main focal point of his sermon.

The last one definitely happened to me on Sunday.

We had a guest pastor at Weaverland.  And the sermon started in Obadiah.  I knew 0 things about this particular book.  It talks about the descendants of Jacob and Esau.  It's not a really happy book.  It has phrases like:  "Rise, and let us go against her for battle"  and "Because of the violence against your brother Jacob, you will be covered with shame; you will be destroyed forever"  and "The house of Jacob will be a fire and the house of Esau will be stubble, and they will set it on fire and consume it.  There will be no survivors from the house of Esau.  The Lord has spoken"  

Not.  Happy.

So the something I got stuck on that wasn't a main focal point?  It was a phrase that most people didn't even really hear.

The pastor took us back to Genesis to give us the back story of Jacob and Esau.  Dude, you want to talk about sibling rivalry?  I'll take my kids over these two any day of the week.

But back to what I got stuck on.  Genesis 25:22 "The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, "Why is this happening to me?"  So she went to inquire of the Lord."

Did you hear what I heard?  "So she went..."

This phrase struck me right between the eyes.  Rebekah had to go somewhere to inquire of the Lord.  My footnote says "perhaps to a nearby place of worship".

Here's this dear lady, pregnant with twins who are already fighting with each other while in utero (ugh!) and she wants to know why.  Who better to ask than God?  But she doesn't just stay sitting with her swollen feet and ankles propped up.  Nope.  She hauls her expanding self up and goes somewhere to inquire of the Lord.

Why?  

Does she need to make a sacrifice first?  Does she need somebody else to inquire for her?  Are there rules about where you can pray?

I don't know the answers to any of these questions.  If you do, please let me know.

All I know is that the scriptures say she "went to inquire of the Lord".  

And I'm left to ponder, if I couldn't pray right where I am, would I make the effort to get to a place where I could pray?  

And I'm left to rejoice, thank you, Jesus, that because of your sacrifice I can meet you anywhere.  

And I'm left feeling ashamed for the many times I don't bother to pray even though I have an invitation to come freely before the Throne of Grace.

The pastor wrapped up his sermon by saying he believes the book of Obadiah is an illustration of salvation.  We all deserve the fate of the Edomites.  Total destruction and death.  But when we come before the throne of grace and ask for Jesus' mercy he fights for us, just like he did for Israel.

And we can come before His throne wherever we are.  In the car.  In front of the computer.  In the shower.  While making picaken.  

Jesus doesn't care where, he just cares that we come.

Thoughts

I have a lot of them.   Chances are, you do to.  Some of them are good.  Holy even.  Some of them are hilarious.  Some of them should never be spoken out loud.  Some of them are downright scary.

Thoughts are the reason I started this blog.  I'm not so good at talking.  For whatever reason writing comes much more naturally to me.  Maybe it's because I can stop and think before each sentence.  Maybe it's because I can delete something that doesn't sound the way I intended it to.  But writing is always therapeutic for me.  My writing often takes me down surprising paths.  Like, whoa, hello!  I didn't know I was feeling that.

This morning our worship team led us in songs focused on repentance.  The comment was made that we don't often focus our prayers or worship on repentance.  We focus on thanksgiving.  We focus on our requests.  We focus on our requests for others.  

And those are good.  

I am positive that Jesus delights in our thanksgiving.   Philippians 4 tells us to rejoice in the Lord always.  It's good advice.  I know I mention Ann Voskamp often.  But her book "One Thousand Gifts" resonated with my soul so deeply.  She uses this lovely Greek word "Eucharisteo".  Go ahead, say it out loud.  

The definition is simply this "to be grateful".  Isn't that how the people of God should be marked?  By our thanksgiving?  It's amazing what happens to your outlook when you start looking for the gifts in each day instead of focusing on what's going wrong.  Please hear my heart, I don't want to downplay anyone's struggle.  There are so many heartbreaking things that happen every day.  But I very firmly believe that every day is also full of gifts.  Ask Jesus to open your eyes to them.  And then grab a friend and text them three things you are thankful for each day.  It keeps you looking for the beautiful plus it's fun to see how the Lord blesses your friend.

I am also positive that Jesus wants to hear the requests we make on our own behalf and on the behalf of our friends and families.  And even enemies.  Matthew 7 says ask and it will be given to you.  Philippians 4 says to present our requests to God with thanksgiving.  Matthew 5 tells us to pray for our enemies.  

But back to repentance.  Romans 3 has this to say on our sorry state.  

"There is no one righteous, not even one."

"All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

That's pretty gloomy.  And if that's all there was, there'd be no hope.  Hang on, though, I know this other verse:

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:  While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

And this:

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

We sang a song called "Man of Sorrows" this morning.  You can listen to it here.  While we were singing I felt the crushing weight of my sin.  You might look at my life and say, "Well, you seem to be doing pretty good!  You're a good person!"  This is the part where we come back to thoughts.  You don't see what goes on in my head.  There are a lot of thoughts that enter and leave right away.  But then there are the things I choose to dwell on.

Jesus says this interesting thing in Matthew 5.  "You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgement.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment." And also this: "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

I think what Jesus is saying is that our thoughts matter.  Because our thoughts become our words, our actions.   "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." 

Ouch.

2 Corinthians 10:5 says "we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."  I'm not exactly sure what this is supposed to look like.  If you have a great insight, I'd love to hear it!  This verse always makes me think of another set of verses.  Back to Philippians 4 (so much good stuff in there!):  "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."

When I have a thought that is not holy and I'm tempted to dwell on it I say this verse to myself.  And I always see the same image in my minds eye.  I'm in a meadow of wildflowers and I'm wearing a pretty dress.  The sky is brilliantly blue with fluffy clouds.  Jesus meets me.  And then we dance.  Sunshine, birdsong, amazing color, and my Jesus holding me.

True.  Noble.  Right.  Pure.  Lovely.  Admirable.  Excellent.  Praiseworthy.

Jesus wants to rescue us from the crushing weight of our sin.

All it takes is our willingness to say "Hey, Jesus?  I messed up and I'm so sorry.  Will you forgive me?"

"Man of sorrows, Lamb of God

By His own betrayed

The sin of man and wrath of God

has been on Jesus laid

Silent as He stood accused

Beaten mocked and scorned

Bowing to the Father's will

He took a crown of thorns

Oh that rugged cross my salvation 

Where your love poured out over me

Now my soul cries out Hallelujah

Praise and honor unto Thee

Sent of heaven God's own Son

To purchase and redeem

And reconcile the very ones

Who nailed Him to that tree

Now my debt is paid 

It is paid in full

By the precious blood 

That my Jesus spilled

Now the curse of sin

Has no hold on me

Whom the Son sets free 

Oh is free indeed

See the stone is rolled away

Behold the empty tomb

Hallelujah God be praised

He's risen from the grave"