Let the Mutiny Begin!

Yeah, except I think my family might be staging a mutiny against me and my crazy idea.

I introduced the concept of "7 an experimental mutiny against excess"  by Jen Hatmaker tonight.  If you read my previous blog post then you know I am pretty much obsessed with this idea right now.

I explained to my family how Jen chose 7 foods and ate them for a whole month.  Nothing else.  And how that was not what we were going to do.  I tweaked it.  Everything that is already in our cupboards/pantry/freezer/fridge is fair game.  And we will decide together on 7 foods that we will buy at the store weekly to supplement what we already have.

"Chicken nuggets!"

"Fried rice!"

"Hot dogs!"

"Desserts ~ lots of them!"  (this from my husband who is addicted to sugar like crack cocaine.)

Hold the phone, people!  Our 7 foods need to be at least semi-nutritious!  After some debate (and one child nearly crying over the thought of no strawberries for a month) we chose our 7:

milk

eggs

cheese (only one kind at a time)

chicken

apples

cauliflower

broccoli

My pantry is full of things like quinoa, lentils, rice, couscous, black beans, kidney beans, pinto beans, and black eyed-peas.

I have baking staples like bread flour, whole wheat flour, regular flour, cake flour, brown sugar, raw sugar, and rolled oats.

I've got dried herbs and spices.  Condiments galore in the fridge.  Three kinds of oil (coconut, canola, and olive).

There is candy.  This is something I rarely buy but we always seem to have in abundance.  I blame my mom.

The freezer has vegetable purees, applesauce, icing (!), tomatoes, peaches, and enough butter to last until kingdom come.

Seriously, we could survive for a whole month without buying anything from the store.

I will be absolutely delighted if at the end of our 30 days the pantry, cupboards, freezer, and fridge were empty.

But we are already encountering stumbling blocks and we haven't reached our start date (March 1).  "But what about my birthday?" says my going-to-be-10-years-old daughter.

Yeah, I've thought of that.  And my birthday.  And offspring #3's birthday.  And my dad's birthday.  And our vacay to Atlanta.  What do we do with those?

We're getting pizza for my dad's birthday.  That will be day 2 of our experiment.  Hopefully nobody dies on the first day, they will be sorely disappointed to miss real pizza from a pizza shop.

My sister is taking me to Shady Maple on my birthday.  I won't apologize for that.

I've decided that I don't want my children to remember their 10th and 7th birthdays as being ruined by their mother's desire to eat everything in our house before we buy more food.  Cheeseburgers, chips, and cakes will rule the day on March 16, their combined birthday party.

And there will be joy in the land again.

I'm undecided about our road trip.  I'm sure we will eat out some.  I want to make road trip food.  I'm gonna do my best to make do with what is in our house already.  Wish me luck.

So, month one is already full of loop holes.  Justification is so easy.

Please check up on me and ask how it's going!  Keep me on the straight and narrow.  And pray for my family.  They may hate me til this is over.

Ain't NOBODY need More Stuff

It's a phrase I'm fond of saying.  Especially around Christmas and March and June.  Those are the times of year people with wonderful intentions and giving hearts ask me the most dreaded of questions:  "What would (insert child's name) like as a gift?"

And I want to scream "NOTHING!!  THEY DON'T WANT ANYTHING!!  THEY DON'T APPRECIATE THE THINGS THEY HAVE NOW!!!"

Now, the above statement is not totally true.  My kids do want anything.  I was going to type "something" but then realized "anything" is more accurate.  I have one child in particular who will see some bright shiny gizmo and say " I want that!"  to which I reply "Do you know what it is?"  And the answer is "No, but I want it."

Seriously?  Did these people really come out of my body?  Why are they so different from me?!

Except they aren't.  It's just that the stuff they want is cheap junk.  And the things I want are...expensive junk.

I have this sign hanging in our kitchen:

Jesus says something along the same lines, just not as flowery.  Cut and dry for people like me: "Watch out!  Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."

If I want my children to not follow the greedy American culture of more, MORE, MORE, I better be paving the way.

Enter this book:

Sorry about the sideways, again.  Maybe some day technology and I will be friends, but not today.

After my last blog post, a friend recommended this book to me and then was so kind as to borrow it from her church library and drop it off at my house.  Wow!

After reading the first page I wanted to cancel the rest of my life so I could stay in my chair and read.  Seriously, Jen Hatmaker is one amazing author.  Hilarious (like I'm seriously laughing out loud.  My 3 year old keeps asking me what's so funny) and deep.  I'm in love with her.  If Ann Voskamp and Jen Hatmaker had a baby, I'd want to be that child.

Anyway, if you turned your head sideways to read my picture then you know the title of this book is "7: an experimental mutiny against excess".  I love those words.  

"Mutiny" especially.  

I feel mutinous a lot.  So I'm not even past the cover and I want to memorize the whole book.

To try to sum it up (I'm terrible at summing things up, by the way) Jen basically took 7 areas of her life and mutinied against the excess that Americans take for granted as our right.  One mutiny each month.  And she recorded her real, honest, raw feelings. 

That's another thing I love and am striving for in my life:  real, honest, raw.  My friend Melissa recently started a blog and wrote a wonderful post about real, honest, and raw.  Her bravery is inspiring!

Back to 7 and mutiny.  I'm going to bully talk my family into taking the plunge and fight the excess in our lives.  I will probably do some twists on what Jen did during her experiment but I am excited to begin.  And I'm sure it will make for some hilarious and thought provoking blog posts.

Stay tuned.

Crazy Wardrobe Idea

So, in my last blog post you voted on what my next post should be about.  Many of you were interested in #4: a crazy wardrobe idea that I'm not sure I have the guts to do.

All your votes = me having the guts

It's an idea that I've vocalized more than once.

"If money were not an issue, it would be so fun to get rid of everything in my wardrobe and buy anything that I wanted."

Now, before you start thinking I won the lottery or am somehow independently wealthy (neither of which are true) let me say I am not getting rid of all my clothes and going on a major shopping spree.

Sigh.

But what if I ruthlessly went thru my closet and discarded everything that didn't fit right or I don't like for some reason?  And what if I documented it?  And what if I learn something surprising?

Well, I did.  All of the above.  Join me in my closet and thought process.

Welcome to my closet.  This is the "before" shot.

After I took this photo I just stood there for a minute, thinking. 

Am I really going to do this?!

What if I have nothing left?

Should I set an amount I am willing to spend to rebuild my wardrobe?

Then, without really answering the questions, I dove in.

After the first pass, my reject pile wasn't all that big.  So I figured I wasn't being totally honest with myself.  My fear of having nothing to wear was trumping my desire to have only clothes that I feel good in.

Wow, does that sound shallow?  

I didn't think cleaning out my closet would produce soul-searching thoughts.

Please don't misunderstand me.  I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to look nice.  I believe God created us with a bent toward beautiful.  But how much stock do we put in it?  Do I spend as much time in the morning with Jesus as I spend on getting ready to go out?  What makes me more beautiful, the clothes and jewelry I am wearing or my heart that is changing to be more like God?

Oh. my.

Hold that thought, back to the closet.  The second and third passes thru were more cut-throat.  And just for fun, I made three piles.

There's the "oh my goodness, what was I thinking when I bought that?!" pile:

sorry about the sideways.

The "I don't have anything to wear with this" pile:

And lastly, the "I don't like the way this fits and/or I don't like the way I look in it" pile:

My friends would use the word "confident" to describe me.  And I would mostly agree.  But the height of that last pile tells this truth: I am not always the confident person I appear to be.  Remember that the next time you look at someone and think "I wish I could have it all together like her."  Everyone has their pile.  Mine just looks different than yours.

The "after" picture:

I thought I would take stock at the end and make a list of the things I needed to buy to complete my now de-pleted wardrobe.  I noticed I had quite a few of these things:  cardigans, dresses, and boots.  Enough dresses in fact that I could go out every day of the week and not wear the same one twice.  How many girls in the world are that blessed?

It dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, there is nothing else I needed.

Yeah, but...

NO "yeah, but"s.

So what started out as one crazy wardrobe idea has now evolved into a different crazy wardrobe idea.  What if I choose to be content with what's in my closet right now?

Care to join me?

Random Swirlings

Ah, my poor neglected blog :(   

And my poor swirling brain.  I have several blogs in rough draft form inside my skull.  Let's face it, if they don't make it into the blogosphere soon, there is good chance they will be lost in the gray matter forever.  

F.O.R.E.V.E.R

But tonight is not the night for them.  Instead, a list of what I'd like to blog about in the near future.  Oh!  Idea.  Leave a comment on which one you'd be most interested in reading.  Saves me the trouble on deciding which one to write first.

1.  Snow and why I love it so much.  This has been the best winter ever.  (If you'd like to send me hate mail my address is:  105 Carriage Way, East Earl.  Dad, I'll look for your's first.)

2.  My 2 word theme for 2014

3.  What I'm gonna do about March

4.  Crazy wardrobe idea that I'm not sure I have the guts to do.

5.  How I'm tired of 'pinning' things and never doing any projects

6.  Letters in my Bible

Whew!  Feels good to have a list.  I love them.  Are you a list maker?  Sometimes I add things I've already done onto my list just so I can cross them out.  Raise your hand, I know you are out there, kindred spirit!

I'm at a loss on how to end this post.  Maybe just, goodbye?

Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite?

Have a good night?

Fade out...

Weekends

This morning I managed to get up when my alarm went off.  First time all week that I've done that.

What a difference it makes to my morning!

I have time to sit.  To sip.  To breathe.

Time to read this blog.  The music alone stirs my soul.

Time to read the Word.  Time to think.  Time to let Him stir my soul.

There's this weekend coming up.  I'm giddy even typing the words.

Ladies Retreat

So.  Excited.

Amazing friends, hot tub, shopping, indulgent snacks, powerful speaker (Bonni Greiner, have you heard her?  You should.).  And nobody to take care of but me!

Rest and relaxation at it's best.

Such a contrast from last weekend.

Oh, last weekend.  I spent it with a food safety book.  A book I should have spent days reading.  Just a little bit at a time.  But, no, not me.  I tried to read it all in one day.  The day before I was going to take the test my boss was paying for.  The test that proves I won't kill you when I cook for you.  Then my brain exploded and my bones melted and I stress-ate everything I could get my hands on.

(ok, not literally all of that.  but close)

I may have sent my boss a text saying "i can't remember anything and i'm going to fail and you should just fire me so i don't have to do this" "i'm having a hard time with this".  She graciously replied, "You will be fine!  And besides, this might make a great devo blog!".

Huh.

Her words stirred the Spirit inside.  How many times do I freak out about situations in my life and tell the Lord "I can't do it".  And He graciously replies "You will be fine!  And besides, this might make a great devo blog!"

It comes down to trust.  

Turns out, Gina was right.  I was fine.  I retained enough info about food safety to score an 87%.  My name will soon be printed on a certificate and posted at Lickity Split.

As for the Lord?  He's brought me thus far and proved Himself faithful again and again.  I believe Him when He says "Surely I am with you always to the very end of the age."  ~Matt. 28:20 (emphasis mine)

And "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." ~2 Cor. 12:9

And "My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.  He will not let your foot slip - He who watches over you will not slumber;"  ~ Psalm 121:2-3

Where is our trust today?  What are we fixing our eyes on?

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

~2 Cor. 4:18

These quiet words scream at me this morning.  They jump wildly off the page.  Come, weary, rest, take, learn, gentle, humble, rest.

It's like these are the only words on the page and so I circle them.

It's a familiar verse.  Are you like me?  Do you just skim the familiar?

Do you sit in stunned silence when the Holy Spirit opens your eyes to what is in plain sight?

Come, take, learn. 

 I'm having difficulty putting into words why these three stir me this morning.  But they do.

I know why "weary" does.  Did you notice in my translation that the word "weary" is too tired to even stay together?  

Ah, and "rest".  It's in there twice.  Lovely.

Gentle and humble.  Jesus.  My parched soul soaks it in.

Other things scream at me this morning as well.  

What are we having for dinner? 

Holy moly.

New year's resolutions.

But the screams of everyday life were quieter then the whispering of Jesus.  

"Somebody needs to hear this today."

Is it you?   It's definitely me.

"Jesus Calling" pointed me to these two scriptures today.  

Both familiar.

Both already partially underlined in my Bible.

Both fresh today.

Because isn't the word of God like that?  Something familiar being made fresh.

It's with tears that I pray for you.  I don't know who all reads my blog, nor do I need to.  But, whoever you are, know that today you were prayed for.  

Prayers against fear.  Prayers against discouragement.

Prayers for strength.  Prayers for courage.  Prayers for rest.

Come, take, learn.

I Should Be Sleeping...

But I drank Coke at supper.  Not much, but enough to keep me laying awake in bed...thinking.  I would rather get up and do something instead of tossing and turning so here I am.  Attempting to capture this morning's emotion in words.

I'll be straight up honest with you all.  I wanted to bag church this morning.  Once a month at least   Occasionally I don't feel like going.  My pj's are comfy, my house is warm, lingering over coffee is delightful.  

But I was supposed to teach a Sunday school class this morning.  A class I was feeling totally inadequate to teach.  And also terribly unprepared to teach.  As in, I didn't look at the lesson until Saturday night.  I didn't even read the whole thing because I was tired.  So I read the rest this morning.  And felt even more dread at having to teach.

With little enthusiasm I got ready.  No shower, no makeup.  I spent half a minute with a straightener.  Ugh, let's move forward and get this over with.  Church first.  Sunday school second.  And...go.

Worship time was great.  It's almost always my favorite part of Sunday morning.  Jesus feels so present to me when I sing.  Eternity will be simply amazing.

And then came the part that wreaked me.  A short video clip paraphrasing John 8:31-59.  I wish I had it here so you could watch it.  Jesus was speaking to and with a large group of Jewish men.

 Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. ³² Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

³³ They answered him, “We are Abraham’s descendants and have never been slaves of anyone. How can you say that we shall be set free?”

³⁴ Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. ³⁵ Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. ³⁶ So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. ³⁷ I know that you are Abraham’s descendants. Yet you are looking for a way to kill me, because you have no room for my word. ³⁸ I am telling you what I have seen in the Father’s presence, and you are doing what you have heard from your father.”

³⁹ “Abraham is our father,” they answered.

“If you were Abraham’s children,” said Jesus, “then you would do what Abraham did. ⁴⁰ As it is, you are looking for a way to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God. Abraham did not do such things. ⁴¹ You are doing the works of your own father.”

“We are not illegitimate children,” they protested. “The only Father we have is God himself.”

⁴² Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I have come here from God. I have not come on my own; God sent me. ⁴³ Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. ⁴⁴ You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. ⁴⁵ Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me! ⁴⁶ Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don’t you believe me? ⁴⁷ Whoever belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God.”

Jesus’ Claims About Himself

⁴⁸ The Jews answered him, “Aren’t we right in saying that you are a Samaritan and demon-possessed?”

⁴⁹ “I am not possessed by a demon,” said Jesus, “but I honor my Father and you dishonor me. ⁵⁰ I am not seeking glory for myself; but there is one who seeks it, and he is the judge. ⁵¹ Very truly I tell you, whoever obeys my word will never see death.”

⁵² At this they exclaimed, “Now we know that you are demon-possessed! Abraham died and so did the prophets, yet you say that whoever obeys your word will never taste death. ⁵³ Are you greater than our father Abraham? He died, and so did the prophets. Who do you think you are?”

⁵⁴ Jesus replied, “If I glorify myself, my glory means nothing. My Father, whom you claim as your God, is the one who glorifies me. ⁵⁵ Though you do not know him, I know him. If I said I did not, I would be a liar like you, but I do know him and obey his word. ⁵⁶ Your father Abraham rejoiced at the thought of seeing my day; he saw it and was glad.”

⁵⁷ “You are not yet fifty years old,” they said to him, “and you have seen Abraham!”

⁵⁸ “Very truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “before Abraham was born, I am!” ⁵⁹ At this, they picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus hid himself, slipping away from the temple grounds.

Ok, that was a long scripture.  If I was reading this blog instead of writing it I would have skipped probably only skimmed the passage above.

For me, reading this passage is entirely different than seeing it played out.  Reading it I'm like "Duh, Jews, Jesus is awesome, why don't you get it?!"

Seeing it played out broke my heart.  I saw my face in the crowd of bearded Jewish men.  I felt the scepticism in my soul.  I heard my mocking voice, "You are not yet fifty years old and you have seen Abraham!".

All this before the sermon even started.  If the video stabbed my heart, what our pastor pointed out next twisted the knife.  Seven little words that I omitted from the above scripture.  John 8:31 starts out "To the Jews who had believed him..." (emphasis mine)

Wait, what?  These guys believed Jesus?  Cuz it doesn't seem that way to me.  The phrase "With friends like these, who needs enemies?" comes to mind.

It's easy for me to get in a self-righteous huff about long dead Jews.  But let's go back to that video where I saw my own face with them. 

 Oh, yeah.

I have to question, if I had lived in the time when Christ walked the earth, would I have believed him? 

At the end of the dialog Jesus says "I am!"  There is amazing power in those two little words.  

Pastor Brian took us to John 18.  The garden where Jesus was betrayed with a kiss.  

Verse 4 -6 "Jesus, knowing all that was going to happen to him went out and asked them, "Who is it you want?"  "Jesus of Nazareth," they replied.  "I am he," Jesus said.  When Jesus said "I am he," they drew back and fell to the ground." (emphasis mine)

This gives me chills.  The same I AM who can fell soldiers with only his words is living in me.

  Oh my.

It's 2014.  We're only 5 days in.  There are 360 more.  What will they look like?  Will you trust I AM?  Will you believe him?  Will you let him finish the sentence "Because I AM, you are..."?

What will you be this year?