Six Weeks and Three Days

That's how long it's been since I've blogged.  

I went for a walk today.  An unhurried, easy, delightful walk.  I followed the same path I walked the last time I blogged.  And I thought about the things I said then.

How that season was feeling difficult.  How I was longing for mid-September when we would be settled into a routine.

And I thought about the things I know now.

That this season is still feeling difficult.  That mid-September came and went and I didn't feel settled into a routine.

And I thought about some words that my very wise daughter turned into word art.

"Live in the moment because it is impossible to go into the past or into the future."

I thought about the recent past.  How I've done a lot of things.  How I've longed to be doing less.

I thought about the near future.  How the calendar looks empty.  How happy I feel about that.

I thought about the moment I was in.  How beautiful the landscape was.  The grass still green, the sky so blue, the leaves so brilliant.  How much I loved the music playing in my ears.  The picking of strings, the blending of voices, the beat of drums.

I thought about how these still, ordinary, sacred moments recharge me for the blurry, crazy, loud moments that are part of every day.

This month my calendar included 3 cross country races (Cole), 4 field trips (1 with Jessie, 1 with Jake, and 2 with Cole), and 8 football games (Kye) in addition to all the regular life stuff.  Honestly, I enjoy all these things.  Watching races and football games are so fun.  And field trips give me one on one time with my kids that is hard to carve out at other times.

But being so busy, even with fun activities, is draining for me.  Today I got something I've been longing for.

Alone time.

Two and a half hours all to myself.  Time where I didn't have to be anyone's mother, wife, friend, or employee.  I could just be Tara.

So I walked and thought.  I uploaded pictures and cleaned up the kitchen.  I wrote parts of this blog post in my mind.  I felt myself breathe.

And I was grateful.  For my boss who rearranged the schedule so I don't have to work on Thursdays.  For my coworkers who switched positions to fill in the schedule on Thursdays.  For the wonderful teachers at my kids school who keep them away from me for hours everyday.  For my husband who works hard to support our family.  For my friends who understand my need for space.  For the moments, busy and still, that I've enjoyed this month.

That last one is from Cole's field trip this week.  We did a walking tour of Lancaster.  It's the third time I've been on this field trip and I love it every time.  I blogged about it last year too.

Cole loves taking pictures and so I let him have free reign with the camera.  I am so thankful we live in the land of digital pictures.  He took approximately 10,000 photos.  Including selfies.

And mom shots...

He seemed to really love the historical signs.

I actually really enjoyed looking at his photos.  It's interesting to see things from an 8 year old boy's point of view.

And then there were these statues.  They are in the one church we toured.  They creep me out every year.  I'm not sure why.

The last one especially.  Shudder.

Cole must have really enjoyed the fountain.

I thoroughly enjoy the fact that he took a picture of his shadow.

There were a few times Cole relinquished control of the camera.

Overall, it was a gorgeous day to be out walking.  Just like today.  And last Thursday.

Last week I went on an overnight camping trip with Jessie's class.

Yeah.  

We slept in a tent.  

On the ground.  

Which felt like rocks.  

Because it probably was.

But other than that it was perfectly delightful.  On Wednesday we did a stream study at French Creek.

While the kids were in the water, I took pictures of things that caught my attention.

I thought the pattern of this root system was so pretty.  And there was something so striking about my niece's shoes in the middle of it.

The leaves were so beautiful.  Up high and on the ground.

On Thursday we took a hike around the lake.

It was stunning.  I always forget how much I love hiking until I am doing it.  The fresh air, the crunch of leaves, the aloneness.  Even in the group of 23, I felt alone.  And I loved it.

I decided that I am going to take myself hiking every Thursday.  Except for when I don't feel like hiking.  Then I might take myself into the city.  Cuz that was glorious too.

How can I enjoy two things so much that feel like complete opposites?  It just adds fuel to the fire of the thought I have often.

I must have multiple personalities.

Please pray for Larry.  I am so difficult to live with.

So, whether today finds you in the city or the country, I hope you are living in the moment.  I hope your eyes are open to beauty.  I hope you feel your lungs inflate with precious air.  I hope you have time to be still.

And, mostly, I hope you feel the sweet presence of Jesus.