All or Nothing

Those are the words I use to describe myself.  I have a hard time with middle ground.  This is how it looks in real life:

If I can't clean my whole house in one day I don't clean at all.

If I don't have time to exercise for 20-30 minutes I don't exercise at all.

If I can't keep my garden completely weed free I don't weed at all.

If I don't have time for a nice long hot shower I don't shower at all (TMI? So sorry.)

If I am overwhelmed by the length of my To-Do list I don't do anything at all.

I am a little better when it comes to entertainment but in a perfect world I would:

Start and finish a book in one sitting.

Watch all the episodes/seasons of a TV series in one sitting.

Watch movies and their sequels all in one sitting.

My all or nothing mentality even spills over into deeper things.

There are SO many people I love and want to keep up with.  But I get overwhelmed and I shut people out.

There are SO many things to pray about.  But I get overwhelmed and I don't pray at all.

There are SO many spiritual lessons that I want to keep at the forefront of my brain. But I get overwhelmed and I don't remember anything at all.

This past season has felt like a season of All.  And I'm burned out.  So I've entered the season of Nothing.  Which is most likely why I've not blogged for 3 weeks.

I've been spending lots of time at home.  And can I tell you?  I love it.

But then I feel guilty.  Because there are all these things I should be doing.

I should be doing more at work.

I should be doing more with my friends.

I should be doing more for my family.

These are the expectations I put on myself.  I am my own worst enemy.

Why am I sharing all this with you?  

It feels raw.

It feels messy.

It feels humbling.

But here's the thing.  I KNOW some of you must feel the same way.  Satan would have us believe we are all alone in our struggles, that no one else would understand.

Satan is the father of lies.  I know this to be true.  And so I trust the Spirit's prompting to share how I feel with you.

There are two purposes to this blog post.

#1.  If you are an All or Nothing person I want you to know you are not alone.

#2.  If you are an All or Nothing person who is wiser than me, I want your help.

How do you do life?  How do you create Middle Ground that you feel ok about?  Especially in the Important things like People, Prayer, and Jesus?  How do you combat Satan's lies that you are Too Much and at the same time Not Enough?

If you are brave enough to let me know you struggle in the same way I would welcome your Spirit led wisdom.  And I think Jesus will be glorified if we are willing to be real and help each other along the sometimes bumpy path of Life.