Real & Raw (and it ain't pretty)

So, we are done with our first month of 7.  

I was going to have 'after' photos of my cupboards, pantry, fridge, and freezer for you.  But I don't.  What I do have are a bunch of excuses.  

I'm tired.

I'm cold.

I'm in pain.

My kids suck at sweeping the floor.

It's windy.

I'm tired.

Nobody hand washed dishes in this house but me.

My desk is cluttered.

I'm tired.

I had to wash Jessie's sheets today because Jake peed in her bed last night.

I wanted to have a nice story of how reducing our grocery list to 7 items changed our lives.  How it majorly impacted our kids.  How they had such good attitudes about it.  But I don't.

We had too many loopholes.

I don't think the kids got it.

There was so much whining.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad we did it.  It's probably going to be something we do again.  With less loopholes.  And more intentionality.

Deep breath, on to month 2...clothes.

I can't even begin to tell you how much my attitude stinks already and this month hasn't even begun.

I'm doing this one solo.  Technically my kids probably already do this one.  Does anyone else's kids wear the same clothes all day, sleep in them, and then try to wear them to school the next day?

I want you to think about this with me.  If you stood in front of your clothes and had to pick just 7 items to wear for a month, how would you feel?  What would you choose?

Jen Hatmaker, the author of "7", chose 7 clothing items but decided to not count undergarments and socks.  Good choice.  She also chose 2 sets of footwear and counted it as 1.  I'm doing the same.

As for my other choices, I'm tweaking a little.  I'm choosing a pair of kahki pants and my blue Lickity Split tee shirt and counting it as one.  And a pair of capri yoga pants and a long sleeve black tee shirt for working out and counting it as one.

A pair of sparkly sandals and running shoes are one choice.  So, 3 items down, 4 to go.

1 pair of jeans.

A black dress.

A green long sleeved shirt.

My jean jacket.

I am so grumpy about this.  I can feel the scowl as I type.  No jewelry (besides my wedding ring), no scarves (except the one I need to wear in my hair for work), no belts.  This is hard.

And then that voice.

You know, the still small one?

"Is this as hard as living in a third world country?"

And then the heart rending.

I am so superficial.  

My "problems" would be a dream come true for so many women.

Sure, I'm tired.  I've been having knee pain and it's been keeping me up at night.  But I could drive myself to the doctor today.  I could drive myself to the pharmacy to pick up a medication that should help.  I had the money to pay for the prescription.

I choose thankfulness.

Sure, I'm cold.  But I can brew myself another pot of coffee.  I can pull my favorite hoodie on.  I can snuggle under an extra blanket.

I choose thankfulness.

Sure, my kids don't clean to my standards and I'm still walking on crumbs in the kitchen after they "sweep".  But I've been blessed with 4 healthy babies.  I have a kitchen to sweep.  I have a family that makes dirt.

I choose thankfulness.

Do you get the point?  Do I get the point?

There are many small annoyances that happen in a day.  With the right factors (mainly being sleep deprived) the smallest grievances grow and grow til I am not a person you would want to be around.  I'm not even a person I want to be around, but I'm stuck with me.

My heart needs changing.  If it takes wearing 7 things for one month, I'm all in.

Jesus, do your thing.

Confession

They say it's good for the soul.

We just returned this morning from an action packed "vacation" to Atlanta.  More on that, and photos, later.

Right now I just want to share one confessional photo with you:

I bought this pile of food.   None of it is even related to my 7 sanctioned foods for this month.

We went into this store called "World Market".  To my knowledge there are none around home.  If I had many dollars with me I would have spent them all.  So many cool things.

Since I didn't have many dollars (and little room to bring back things) I bought food.  I already designated this trip as a loophole for this month.  So, whatever.

Cajun Dill Gator-Taters.  If you ever get a chance to eat these, do it!

Larry picked the clearance potato chips.  They were tasty but really normal, nothing special.  

I'm sipping the Turtle coffee now.  Not like turtle the animal, but like turtle candy (you know, caramel, pecans, chocolate).

The dill pickle was for Jessie and Cole.  I tried it, not terribly impressed.  Please pass the Gator-Tators.

The dried fruit chips were ok.  Seeing as how it wouldn't bother me to never eat fruit again, I'm probably not the best judge.

We have not yet sampled the strawberry chocolate.

There, my soul feels better.  I'm ready to embrace our last week of our 7 foods!

Par-tay!

So today was the 2nd to last loophole in our first month of "7".  

Jessie and Cole's combined birthday party.

I said from the beginning that I was not going to stick to our 7 ingredients for this day.  But I wanted to try the best I could to use what I had on hand and to utilize some of our 7 foods that we are buying this month.

The birthday kids wanted burgers and chips.  Seems pretty simple, right?  

WRONG!

Being an all or nothing girl, burgers to me mean:  lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo, ketchup, mustard, relish, peppers, cheese and maybe some avocado.  And delicious buns.  I buy the cheap kind cuz my peeps don't appreciate seeds and grains like I do, but when there are other people coming I break out the good rolls.

Except this time I didn't.  My mom got me some free bread:

There, in the back, do you see it?  Onion, pepper, and poppy seed buns.  Oh my!

I could use the million condiments from my fridge:

Dill pickles, 7 day pickles, zucchini relish, and jalapenos:  all canned bounty from my garden last year.  A jar of mayo.  A bottle of ketchup.  And three, yes three, kinds of mustard.  None of it regular.

Cheese is one of our 7 foods.  So really, the only "rule" i broke for burgers was buying the actual burgers themselves.

Ok, I hear you screaming "HOT DOGS!!! I SEE HOT DOGS!!!"

Don't get your panties in a bunch.  My mom gave me them too.  But no hot dog buns.  And I didn't want to buy any.  Enter pretzel dogs.

(Ew, weird/gross looking photo.  These were actually delicious.)  My cupboards held all the ingredients for soft pretzel dough.  So, no cheating on the dogs!

Chips.  Clearly cheating, no way around it.

Broccoli Salad.  I don't have a photo because I tried to take one and it didn't look right and I was too lazy too busy to move it to try different lighting.  Broccoli, cauliflower, and cheese are all "7" sanctioned food.  I had bacon in the freezer.  I had the dressing ingredients in the fridge/cupboard.  Win.

The cakes:

I'm not gonna lie, I bought a bucket of Leola Frosting at Glenwood.  I can't make homemade icing as good as that, ok people?  Other than that I had all the ingredients on hand.

And how cool is that polka dot cake?!  Shout out to Michelle, thanks for letting me borrow the cake pop maker!  Wanna come up for dessert?  I have half a cake left  :)

Normally a birthday celebration would include soda and ice cream.  I omitted both.  No one asked for them.  Not even the kids.

That.Is.Shocking.

Then I fed my niece chocolate cake right off the cake server.  Because it's my house and I can.  And also because I don't have to deal with her at bedtime.  

Sorry, Tiana.

Overall, I would say "7" didn't ruin change our party drastically.  Mostly because I still have SO much food in the house.

When it comes right down to it, a party is not so much about the food (gasp!) but the people you get to spend quality time with.

And we had cool, quality people in abundance.

Day 11

This experiment is not happening like I thought it would.  I'm still not sure my family realizes we're doing this.  

Besides the lack of snack food.

Last night, on Meatless Monday, we had ham and mashed potatoes.

WHAT?!

I told you, this month is full of loop holes.

One of those loop holes was Saturday evening.  I hosted an adults only dinner for my Sunday school class.  The girls came on the Wednesday before and we made a ton of food.  And it wasn't limited to 7 ingredients.  (Seriously, these people are my friends, I want them to like me.)

So, leftover food from Saturday = Sunday lunch, Monday supper.

It was also Miss J's 10th birthday yesterday and I was delighted to give her a supper she was excited about.  We had mocha brownies for dessert (these were made with ingredients I already had in my cupboards/freezer before this month began so we had a win there).

But tonight...we go out for dinner.  Ugh!  My fridge is stressing me out because it is too full and I am longing to make something simple with it's ingredients like pan seared chicken breasts and roasted broccoli.

I can't believe I just typed that sentence.  To quote Jen Hatmaker in "7":  "You don't understand how much I love food.  Good food.  I adore innovative ingredients with fresh produce and perfectly cooked meat, especially the kind that is doused in condiments.  I believe food is simply a vehicle to devour sauces.  I am a flavor junkie, and my happiest moments take place with a fork in my mouth."

Sometimes I think this woman is inside my head stealing my thoughts.

We're going out tonight to celebrate Jessie's birthday.   And I want to just stay home and cook something simple with no sauce.  Could it be that God is changing my heart already?

I hope so.

Moments

Today I spent the vast majority of my time getting ready to host an adults only dinner for our Sunday School class.  

On Wednesday some of the girls came to cook with me.  We made as much as we could ahead of time.  We made a bunch of deliciousness.

So today I was mainly getting my house in order.  Larry cleaned out the garage (where we would be eating) and one of the girls came over to help me decorate.  

I believe it was a smashing success.  Here are some photos:

Did you notice all the spring flowers?!  They are so lovely.  While I am a lover of winter, I seriously enjoy some daffodils and tulips.  They make my heart happy.  And the weather today was incredible!

In the middle of my preparations I decided to go for a run.  

Here is where all the 'moments' come in.

The first was an amnesiac moment.  I forgot my sunglasses.  I like to wear them to a.) keep the sun out of my eyes and b.) disguise myself a little.  But no biggie, I'll just squint a little bit.

Next there was that awkward moment.  A family I know was just leaving their house and walking in the same direction I was running in.  Now, I haven't been running long and I'm running slightly downhill so I am not out of breath and can say "Hi!".  So I pass them and they are walking behind me and I am very aware of the parts of me that bounce a lot move more than I'd like them too.  Seeing as how it was such a lovely day, I wasn't wearing a hoodie which helps to camofloge said parts.

And then the awesome moment.  A stranger high-fives me.  Thanks, random old guy!

Ah, the avoidance moment.  This is my favorite because I like to call myself names.  So, I am almost at the point in my run where I turn around and run back the way I came.  But up ahead I see a guy come out of his house and start running toward me.  I can tell that when I get to my turn around point he will be right there too.  So, to avoid having to watch him leave me in the dust, I turn the corner with my prideful foolish self and run a longer more difficult route.

Which leads to the asthmatic moment.  Cuz now I'm running up more hills.  And I'm running a longer distance.  And I can't breathe.

I'm an idiot.

Life is full of moments.  Some are fun and some...not so fun.  

What was your most recent fun moment?

Day 4

I'm not sure anyone realizes we are doing this mutiny yet.  I mean, sure, I've talked about it but let's look at the nitty gritty:

Day 1:

 Breakfast was sausage, eggs, and cheese sandwiched between english muffins.  Lunch, leftover homemade pizza.  For supper there was chicken with fried quinoa.

Day 2:

Cole ate the last of the Cheerios at breakfast which induced tears from Jake.  It was Sunday morning which means I have no idea what everyone ate.  At lunch we finished up the rest of the lettuce by having salads (some of us).  Someone ate the last of the fried quinoa, someone ate couscous.  Typical Sunday lunch: leftover buffet.  There is no beautiful Sunday lunch here.  We drag all the leftovers out of the fridge, throw them on the island and put some plates out.  Fill your own and microwave it or don't eat.  It's how we roll.

Sunday evening we celebrated my dad's birthday.  My family's contribution was a supreme pizza from Slice of Italy, chips, coke, and red velvet cake.  My sister brought 4 other pizzas for everyone who doesn't eat supreme (read:  everyone but me and dad) and a cherry cheese pie.  My brother has abandoned the family to live in Atlanta so he didn't show up.

Day 3:

Leftover pizza ALL DAY LONG.  This is not a complaint.  If you've never ingested pizza for breakfast you are missing a rare and beautiful thing.

Ok, I exaggerated a bit.  There was no pizza left for supper.  Yesterday was Monday which in our house means:  Meatless supper (insert groans).  I'm the only one who enjoys it.  Larry tolerates it, meaning he doesn't voice his objection.  But eyes can speak a lot.  

Here's what the kids think of Meatless Monday:

The last one.  I can't even.

Those photos were from a month or so ago.  One child literally ended up on the couch in tears over the food he didn't want to eat.  One mother was not compassionate.  at.all.

Back to last night:  I made a Meatless Monday meal that is endorsed by all.  Beans and rice over tortilla chips.  With salsa, sour cream, and cheese.  Yum.

Then we picked the name of a country out of a jar and googled poor people in that country.  Suddenly supper wasn't sitting so well with me.  I hope the images we looked at are burned in my children's brains.  I pray they don't forget what we learned:  2/3 of this country's rural population (which makes up 90%) doesn't have enough to eat for the whole year.  To make this hit home we made that number 4/6.  There are 6 of us.  What if only 2 people living in our house could have enough to eat for the whole year?

Sobering.

This morning my kids left for school with full bellies.  They carried full lunch boxes.  When they come home from school I will have a snack for them.  Tonight my in-laws are taking us out to eat for my birthday (which is next Wednesday.  I'm still 31.  Don't forget it.)  

 Nobody is concerned that we won't have enough food for tomorrow.  Some of us might be concerned that we won't like the food we have for tomorrow.  But if anyone goes to bed hungry, it's because they've chosen to.

And one of us knows that the coffee creamer will run out tomorrow.

The inside of my head is a mess.  I either have so many thoughts because:

a.  I've had too much caffeine 
b.  I took too long of a break from blogging
c.  The Holy Spirit is really trying to teach me something

OR

d.  all of the above

I'm going with 'd'.  

I just returned from a run hoping that I could pound out some thoughts while I pounded the pavement (see what I did there?).  Except I didn't.  My thoughts are in the same tangle they were when I left.  I don't even know where to start.

Maybe I'll start with some photos.

Remember how I'm forcing inviting my family along on this journey of "7: an experimental mutiny against excess"?  And how the first month is about food?  In my last blog post I told you the 7 foods (milk, cheese, chicken, eggs, broccoli, cauliflower, apples) we are going to buy at the store weekly to supplement what we already have at home.  I also told you how we will cheat just about every week.  Starting today:

Except it's not really cheating because I didn't buy anything special to make this cake, I had it all in the cupboard.  Except it is cheating because I bought chips and soda to have with pizza before we eat this birthday cake.

But I digress.  Back to my pantry picture.  That is the "Day 1: beginning of the mutiny" photo.  I hope the day 30 photo shows everything as empty.

There's more tho.  Here are the rest of the Day 1 photos:

We've got a lot of food.  I'm wondering if we will even be able to eat it all in a months time.

Which begs the question:  Why do I get to have enough food in my pantry, cupboards, fridge, and freezers to feed 6 people for a month (or more) when there are people all over the world who don't even have enough for today?

It makes my heart hurt and my eyes leak.

The "easy" answer is that I am blessed so that I can be a blessing.

We had an amazing church service/sunday school class that completely reiterated what the Holy Spirit has been reveling to me.  Ever since Christmas and that horrible commercial (I think for K-mart?): "Get more Christmas" I have become increasingly uncomfortable with the excess that we have.

So, being an all or nothing kind of girl, when I read "7" by Jen Hatmaker my heart screamed "I'm ALL in!".  Month one is food, and I've talked enough about that.

Month two is clothes.  I've gotta admit, I am already getting hung up on this one and we're only 1.5 days into month one.  I did just recently purge my closet (which is what started all this mutiny against excess) but I still have a lot.

More scarves than you can shake a stick at.

Jewelry out the wazoo.

I need more accessories like I need a hole in my head.

In "7", the author picked 7 articles of clothing for the whole month.

What?!

I can't stop thinking about it.  Trying to figure out how I can twist it like I did month one.  Can I do 7 outfits?  Can I include 7 accessories?  Can I NOT count my work clothes?  Can I NOT count my workout clothes?  This is gonna happen in the month of April, for crying out loud!

If that last sentence doesn't make sense to you then you must not live in Lancaster county.  In April it could be 80 degrees or it could snow, most likely in the same week.  How do I pick 7 articles of clothing to accommodate weather like that?  Heaven forbid that I might be too hot or too cold.  Heaven forbid that I might be uncomfortable.

Heaven forbid that I might be uncomfortable.

Ouch and double ouch.  I never think of myself as a selfish person but that sentence proves it.  I don't want to be uncomfortable.  I like my middle class comfort zone, thank you very much.

But Jesus challenges that, doesn't he?  I say I'm a Jesus follower, but will I follow him somewhere uncomfortable?  Jesus says "Take up your cross and follow me."

"Hey, can I do that from the couch while I eat my dark chocolate and wear my comfies and watch TV?"

I'm not exactly sure what Jesus is calling me too.  Certainly to a life of less.  

Less stuff.  Less stress.  Less comfort.

But what he offers is so much greater.

Abundant life.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." ~ John 10:10

I'm ready to empty out so that I may be full.