All or Nothing or Something

It's 7:30 and my house is still quiet.  It's really nothing short of a miracle.  

Or maybe it's because my kids had friends overnight and I finally told them they had to go to sleep at 2:30am.

Whatever.  I'll take it.

My blogging has been quite infrequent this fall.  And I've been ok with that up until now.  It's been over a month since I've blogged and I've started many posts in my head but they've not been allowed to flow from my fingertips.

I've got things to say.  But I'm not sure I can articulate my thoughts well.

First this:  It's less than a week until I speak to the ladies of New Life Fellowship at their Christmas tea.  My thoughts for that evening look like my desk top:  books, magazines, checks, report cards, recipes, bills, invitations, and folders all in a messy, giant heap.

Ew.

Anyway.  


I've been reading this book.  Rereading actually.  Maybe for the fourth time.  I'm not sure, I've lost count.

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

Have you heard of it?  Please buy it for yourself as a Christmas gift.  Every time I read it I am struck anew.  Yesterday I read this:

"In a world addicted to speed, I blur the moments into one unholy smear...Hurry always empties a soul...I speak it to God:  I don't really want more time; I just want enough time.  Time to breathe deep and time to see real and time to laugh long, time to give You glory and rest deep and sing joy and just enough time in a day not to feel hounded, pressed, driven, or wild to get it all done - yesterday."

When I speak to the ladies at New Life I kinda wanna get up and just read them this book.  Ann wrote my heart in that paragraph.

Those words are how I want to live all year.  But especially in this season.  I want to do less so I can be more.  To appreciate now instead of thinking about what needs to happen before then.  Ann says this: "Thanks makes now a sanctuary."

A sanctuary. A haven.  A place of rest.  A place of restoration.

And I don't know about you, but I could use a little restoration.

A little fine tuning.  A little fixing of my heart.

I'm not usually up on all the current events.  Actually, I might be the least informed person you ever want to meet.  I don't watch the news because the news makes me cry.

So I become like Pharaoh and harden my heart.

But this refugee thing.  I can't ignore it any more.

I tried.

I skimmed the headlines in my newsfeed.  I scrolled right passed the blog posts and articles.  I skipped the pictures.

Until I didn't.

In the early morning hours I looked and I read and I felt.

And I wept.

I wrestled with God.  I gave him my list of excuses.

Too busy.
No connections.
Few resources.
Much fear.

God didn't accept my excuses.

What about Thursdays?
Ask Adrianne.
Compared to what?

And the fear.  I kept coming back to a line from The Chronicles of Narnia.  A line spoken about Aslan.

"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver, "Who said anything about safe?  'Course he isn't safe.  But he's good."

Think about Jesus with me for a moment.  Is he safe?  Think about how he lived his life.  He did so many things that were risky.  Things outside the box.  Things that weren't accepted by the religious leaders of the day.  People hated Jesus.

And we are called to be like him.

I'll level with you.  I say that I want to be like Jesus.  But when it's time for the rubber to meet the road...let's just say I like my life the way it is.  It's comfortable.  It's safe.  I'm not rocking any boats.

Then I read articles.  I read statistics.  I see pictures.  And there is war.  The Holy Spirit wars against my flesh.  I know that I can no longer sit by and do nothing.  I cannot sit and read about gifts and thanksgiving and eucharisteo and do nothing.  I cannot put pen to paper and write my own gifts and do nothing.

So I research.  I talk to like minded people.  I send emails.  I go to the store and buy some things.  Things I take for granted every day. Things I would sorely miss if I had to flee my home.

Toothbrush.
Hand towel.
Finger nail clippers.
Soap.

Enough for 10 people.  It seems like too little.  I read that MCC is in urgent need of 8,000 hygiene kits.  I bought enough for 10.  I fought against the All or Nothing.  I can't buy enough for 8,000.  But I don't have to do Nothing.  I can do Something.

So that is where I choose to live.  Not in the All, because I simply can't.  But not in the Nothing, because Jesus won't let me live there anymore.

I'm living in the Something.  I don't know what all that means.  But I'm wondering if you will come live here with me?

Maybe if we all did Something it would be Enough.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  I hope it is a day of renewal for you.  I hope it's filled with great food and great family and friends.  I hope it's a day where we thank God for what we have and ask him what he wants us to do about those who don't have.  I hope it's a day where we let the Holy Spirit win.

Happy Thanksgiving.