Weekends

This morning I managed to get up when my alarm went off.  First time all week that I've done that.

What a difference it makes to my morning!

I have time to sit.  To sip.  To breathe.

Time to read this blog.  The music alone stirs my soul.

Time to read the Word.  Time to think.  Time to let Him stir my soul.

There's this weekend coming up.  I'm giddy even typing the words.

Ladies Retreat

So.  Excited.

Amazing friends, hot tub, shopping, indulgent snacks, powerful speaker (Bonni Greiner, have you heard her?  You should.).  And nobody to take care of but me!

Rest and relaxation at it's best.

Such a contrast from last weekend.

Oh, last weekend.  I spent it with a food safety book.  A book I should have spent days reading.  Just a little bit at a time.  But, no, not me.  I tried to read it all in one day.  The day before I was going to take the test my boss was paying for.  The test that proves I won't kill you when I cook for you.  Then my brain exploded and my bones melted and I stress-ate everything I could get my hands on.

(ok, not literally all of that.  but close)

I may have sent my boss a text saying "i can't remember anything and i'm going to fail and you should just fire me so i don't have to do this" "i'm having a hard time with this".  She graciously replied, "You will be fine!  And besides, this might make a great devo blog!".

Huh.

Her words stirred the Spirit inside.  How many times do I freak out about situations in my life and tell the Lord "I can't do it".  And He graciously replies "You will be fine!  And besides, this might make a great devo blog!"

It comes down to trust.  

Turns out, Gina was right.  I was fine.  I retained enough info about food safety to score an 87%.  My name will soon be printed on a certificate and posted at Lickity Split.

As for the Lord?  He's brought me thus far and proved Himself faithful again and again.  I believe Him when He says "Surely I am with you always to the very end of the age."  ~Matt. 28:20 (emphasis mine)

And "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." ~2 Cor. 12:9

And "My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.  He will not let your foot slip - He who watches over you will not slumber;"  ~ Psalm 121:2-3

Where is our trust today?  What are we fixing our eyes on?

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

~2 Cor. 4:18

These quiet words scream at me this morning.  They jump wildly off the page.  Come, weary, rest, take, learn, gentle, humble, rest.

It's like these are the only words on the page and so I circle them.

It's a familiar verse.  Are you like me?  Do you just skim the familiar?

Do you sit in stunned silence when the Holy Spirit opens your eyes to what is in plain sight?

Come, take, learn. 

 I'm having difficulty putting into words why these three stir me this morning.  But they do.

I know why "weary" does.  Did you notice in my translation that the word "weary" is too tired to even stay together?  

Ah, and "rest".  It's in there twice.  Lovely.

Gentle and humble.  Jesus.  My parched soul soaks it in.

Other things scream at me this morning as well.  

What are we having for dinner? 

Holy moly.

New year's resolutions.

But the screams of everyday life were quieter then the whispering of Jesus.  

"Somebody needs to hear this today."

Is it you?   It's definitely me.

"Jesus Calling" pointed me to these two scriptures today.  

Both familiar.

Both already partially underlined in my Bible.

Both fresh today.

Because isn't the word of God like that?  Something familiar being made fresh.

It's with tears that I pray for you.  I don't know who all reads my blog, nor do I need to.  But, whoever you are, know that today you were prayed for.  

Prayers against fear.  Prayers against discouragement.

Prayers for strength.  Prayers for courage.  Prayers for rest.

Come, take, learn.

I Should Be Sleeping...

But I drank Coke at supper.  Not much, but enough to keep me laying awake in bed...thinking.  I would rather get up and do something instead of tossing and turning so here I am.  Attempting to capture this morning's emotion in words.

I'll be straight up honest with you all.  I wanted to bag church this morning.  Once a month at least   Occasionally I don't feel like going.  My pj's are comfy, my house is warm, lingering over coffee is delightful.  

But I was supposed to teach a Sunday school class this morning.  A class I was feeling totally inadequate to teach.  And also terribly unprepared to teach.  As in, I didn't look at the lesson until Saturday night.  I didn't even read the whole thing because I was tired.  So I read the rest this morning.  And felt even more dread at having to teach.

With little enthusiasm I got ready.  No shower, no makeup.  I spent half a minute with a straightener.  Ugh, let's move forward and get this over with.  Church first.  Sunday school second.  And...go.

Worship time was great.  It's almost always my favorite part of Sunday morning.  Jesus feels so present to me when I sing.  Eternity will be simply amazing.

And then came the part that wreaked me.  A short video clip paraphrasing John 8:31-59.  I wish I had it here so you could watch it.  Jesus was speaking to and with a large group of Jewish men.

 Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. ³² Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

³³ They answered him, “We are Abraham’s descendants and have never been slaves of anyone. How can you say that we shall be set free?”

³⁴ Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. ³⁵ Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. ³⁶ So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. ³⁷ I know that you are Abraham’s descendants. Yet you are looking for a way to kill me, because you have no room for my word. ³⁸ I am telling you what I have seen in the Father’s presence, and you are doing what you have heard from your father.”

³⁹ “Abraham is our father,” they answered.

“If you were Abraham’s children,” said Jesus, “then you would do what Abraham did. ⁴⁰ As it is, you are looking for a way to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God. Abraham did not do such things. ⁴¹ You are doing the works of your own father.”

“We are not illegitimate children,” they protested. “The only Father we have is God himself.”

⁴² Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I have come here from God. I have not come on my own; God sent me. ⁴³ Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. ⁴⁴ You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. ⁴⁵ Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me! ⁴⁶ Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don’t you believe me? ⁴⁷ Whoever belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God.”

Jesus’ Claims About Himself

⁴⁸ The Jews answered him, “Aren’t we right in saying that you are a Samaritan and demon-possessed?”

⁴⁹ “I am not possessed by a demon,” said Jesus, “but I honor my Father and you dishonor me. ⁵⁰ I am not seeking glory for myself; but there is one who seeks it, and he is the judge. ⁵¹ Very truly I tell you, whoever obeys my word will never see death.”

⁵² At this they exclaimed, “Now we know that you are demon-possessed! Abraham died and so did the prophets, yet you say that whoever obeys your word will never taste death. ⁵³ Are you greater than our father Abraham? He died, and so did the prophets. Who do you think you are?”

⁵⁴ Jesus replied, “If I glorify myself, my glory means nothing. My Father, whom you claim as your God, is the one who glorifies me. ⁵⁵ Though you do not know him, I know him. If I said I did not, I would be a liar like you, but I do know him and obey his word. ⁵⁶ Your father Abraham rejoiced at the thought of seeing my day; he saw it and was glad.”

⁵⁷ “You are not yet fifty years old,” they said to him, “and you have seen Abraham!”

⁵⁸ “Very truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “before Abraham was born, I am!” ⁵⁹ At this, they picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus hid himself, slipping away from the temple grounds.

Ok, that was a long scripture.  If I was reading this blog instead of writing it I would have skipped probably only skimmed the passage above.

For me, reading this passage is entirely different than seeing it played out.  Reading it I'm like "Duh, Jews, Jesus is awesome, why don't you get it?!"

Seeing it played out broke my heart.  I saw my face in the crowd of bearded Jewish men.  I felt the scepticism in my soul.  I heard my mocking voice, "You are not yet fifty years old and you have seen Abraham!".

All this before the sermon even started.  If the video stabbed my heart, what our pastor pointed out next twisted the knife.  Seven little words that I omitted from the above scripture.  John 8:31 starts out "To the Jews who had believed him..." (emphasis mine)

Wait, what?  These guys believed Jesus?  Cuz it doesn't seem that way to me.  The phrase "With friends like these, who needs enemies?" comes to mind.

It's easy for me to get in a self-righteous huff about long dead Jews.  But let's go back to that video where I saw my own face with them. 

 Oh, yeah.

I have to question, if I had lived in the time when Christ walked the earth, would I have believed him? 

At the end of the dialog Jesus says "I am!"  There is amazing power in those two little words.  

Pastor Brian took us to John 18.  The garden where Jesus was betrayed with a kiss.  

Verse 4 -6 "Jesus, knowing all that was going to happen to him went out and asked them, "Who is it you want?"  "Jesus of Nazareth," they replied.  "I am he," Jesus said.  When Jesus said "I am he," they drew back and fell to the ground." (emphasis mine)

This gives me chills.  The same I AM who can fell soldiers with only his words is living in me.

  Oh my.

It's 2014.  We're only 5 days in.  There are 360 more.  What will they look like?  Will you trust I AM?  Will you believe him?  Will you let him finish the sentence "Because I AM, you are..."?

What will you be this year?