Waiting

It's hard, isn't it?  Waiting.  We live in a time of RIGHT NOW.

You want it?  Go get it!!

You don't have the money?  Charge it!!

What about the consequences tomorrow?  Who cares?  We might not have tomorrow!!

If it's delicious, eat it.  If it goes down smooth, drink it.  If it feels good, do it.  If you want it, get it.  Don't count the cost.  Don't think about the repercussions.  Instant gratification.

Today started out as a normal day.  Monday.  I love it.  No sarcasm, I really do!

Jesus Calling, coffee, sunrise, 1 son up before the sunrise.  Emails, facebook, wake the other kids.   Hugs, chores, breakfast.

TEARS

The crime: 

The perp: 

The victim: 

*I realize this would be more powerful if he was crying.  Use your imagination.*

This son spends hours  throwing football with his dad.  And he's good.  The most athletic of the 4 wild animals I gave birth to.  He was heartbroken to see his dog chewing his beloved football.  My big 8 year old cried.  It wasn't the annoying-get-over-it-already-it's-your-fault-for-leaving-it-out crying I can't stand and have no compassion for.  It was the snuffling-oh-he's-trying-really-hard-not-to-cry-but-he-can't-help-it crying that breaks this mother's heart.  

I wanted to fix it.  I knew I could fix it.  You see, there is a brand new football on my closet shelf waiting for Christmas morning.  The football we (and by "we" I mean Larry and the kids) use is old.  It doesn't hold air like it should.  And now it is chewed.

My mother's heart wanted to run upstairs, grab that brand-spanking-new football and stop the tears.  I would have done it too if it hadn't been for that still small voice I *sometimes* listen to.

"Wait."

Really, Lord?!  I've got a heartbroken boy here, I want to fix it.  NOW.

Oh.

Do I want my son to be like so many people I see today?

Credit cards maxed out.  House overflowing with too much stuff.  Children to different women.  Heart always yearning for MORE.

"That's quite a jump," you may say.  "Do you really think giving a new toy to stop tears leads to multiple sexual partners?"

Maybe not.  But if today I don't help my son learn to wait for what he wants, how will he know how to wait when he is a teenager?  An adult?

The things I am teaching my children today have a lasting impression on their future.

That thought brings me to me knees.  And well it should, because this is not something I can do in my own strength or wisdom.  It takes the Lord's strength and wisdom and that's what I ask for while I am on my knees.

So the football waits patiently on my closet shelf for Christmas.

And my son learns that "weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning."

It's Friday!

Here's a quick funny to start your weekend :)

This morning was one of those rare mornings where I actually got up when my alarm went off.  Now, before you judge me, know this:  it's not like I'm lazing in bed until 8:00 or 9:00.  My alarm goes off at 5:00.  Generally I get up by 6:00.

                            *Ahem, now that I've justified myself, back to the story.*

Anyway, I got the coffee pot started and checked my email and facebook.  Returned an email to my Grandma and some other people.  Read two blog posts, a bunch of status updates, yada yada.  And the coffee pot happily gurgled and popped in the background.  

So after I was caught up on all the important social media stuff, I got up to pour myself some nice hot coffee.  I turned from the computer toward the coffee pot...and cracked up.  Turns out I didn't add any coffee grounds!  I wish I would have taken a picture to post here of my pot of...hot water.

Ok, blog post done, the real coffee is ready!  I hope you have a fabulous weekend filled with many cups of strong coffee.

Light

This is the morning view from my parent's front porch.  Stunning.  Awe inspiring.  Heart-stirring.

*side note:  see the tree in the right hand  corner?  when my family moved to this house that tree was a little stick.  i remember hauling 5 gallon buckets of water to it.  my other clear memory of this tree is backing into it in my husband's truck on my sister's wedding day.  good times.  now, back to your regularly scheduled blog post.

So, 3 pictures, all on different days, all equally amazing.  I'm glad my dad sees fit to take pictures of the sunrise and post them on Facebook so I can steal use them on my blog.  

I have an amazing view of the sunrise at my house too, I just have 0 pictures to prove it.  When I look out my front windows in the morning I can see the sun coming up over the hills.  It always makes me think of this verse: 

The painter of the morning sky is my help.  The one who creates beauty for all to see is the same one who is creating beauty in me.  

That's a great thought but I'm heading down a rabbit trail.  Back to sunrises...and sunsets.

Sunset photo credit to Karen Youndt

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.  Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge.  There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard.  Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world." ~ Psalm 19:1-4

Seeing a sunrise or a sunset never ceases to invoke praise in my spirit.  So beautiful, so stirring, so only for this world. 

 Only for this world.  

This thought occurred to me recently.  The beauty of the sunrises and sunsets is only for now.  Not for heaven.  Not for eternity.  Revelation chapter 21 says "there will be no night there."  If there is no night, no darkness, there can be no beauty of the rising or setting sun.  Revelation also says "The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp."  So, no darkness and also...no sun.

At first I felt sad.  I love to see the crazy colors of the sun in the morning.  The vibrancy of the setting sun in the evening.  No more of that in heaven?  But wait!  "the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp"  

If God can make a burning ball of gas stir so many glorious thoughts in my soul, what will happen when I see Jesus face to face?  Instant tears prick my eyes as I consider that thought.  I can only imagine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEW_xenfaz0

Masks

Several thoughts occur to me at once as I look at this picture.

1.  I love that girl so much (it's my niece, Riley)

2.  She is super naughty

3.  I like my hair

4.  I have a lot of crows feet smile lines around my eyes

5.  I am good at wearing masks

This photo was taken the day that I posted that status about being a professional hermit.  My mind was an angry ocean of crashing waves full of thoughts of everything I needed to do.  My body was tense with being in a big crowd of people, most of whom I did not know.  And here it is, documented, that I was...smiling.  

Maybe it's because I knew my aunt was snapping the picture (shout out to Aunt Karen Youndt for photo credit!).  Or maybe it's because it's easier to lie about my well being with the expression on my face than it is to tell someone how I really truly feel.  Because that would be admitting that I don't have it all together.  That would make me look weak.  That would damage my pride.  Dang that pride.

Last winter I struggled against depression.  Not to the point that I felt I needed medicated (altho I certainly believe that has it's place!) but I knew I needed prayer.  The Lord ordained it so that after church, before Sunday School, during our coffee/fellowship time, I started talking with a woman I hold in the highest regard.  A woman so sweet she drips sugar wherever she goes. And not that fake kind of sweet like some people but real genuine, I-wanna-know-what's-going-on-with-you sweet.  A woman who hugs me each Sunday because one time we talked about how each of us has physical touch for our love language.  A woman with a southern accent (all you Weaverlanders know who she is now :) ), a contagious laugh, and a huge heart.

I shared my feelings of depression with her.  She cried with me and prayed for me.  In the weeks afterward I got a card from her in the mail and also several emails checking on how I was doing.  I felt so loved and blessed by this dear woman.  I would have forfeited those blessings if I'd kept my mask firmly in place and insisted I was fine.  

The moral of the story is this:  find somebody to drop your mask with.  Somebody you trust, somebody you know will love you no matter what, and, most importantly, somebody who will pray for you.

And for my closing thought:  I'm actually kind of happy for those crows feet smile lines.  Read this:  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2272240/Smile-Crows-feet-make-look-clever-attractive.html